Attacks From the Enemy

The Lord has been leading me through a season of openness and vulnerability. This is harder than I ever thought possible. I went through the last couple years of my life thinking that I was weak for feeling the way that I did and I had convinced myself that I needed to change my thought process and then I would be better. And while this is not inherently bad in itself, it was always just a temporary fix. I was essentially just covering up my hurt with a band aid. I was not strong enough on my own to make the change that needed to happen. Then one day the Lord revealed to me something that has forever changed my life. He reminded me that I HAVE to invite Him to walk with me in my hardships. And what a difference it has made.

Now, I am going to be honest with you in the fact that I am still very much struggling. I have mentally hard days and sometimes they even turn into weeks. But I have made the switch from simply knowing the Lord to walking with Him and that has changed everything. I fell in love with the Lord through His Word and His teachings, and I have found myself constantly yearning for a more intimate relationship with Him. I used to make myself read the Bible because I knew it was “the right thing to do” but now I long to hear the Lord speak through His scripture. I am so in love with the Lord and excited for what He has in store for the future. 

I am very blessed in the fact that I grew up in a Chrisitan household. I grew up really hoping and believing that the Lord was real but if I am being honest, I had my doubts. I know now it is because I was not truly walking with Him. The peace I have within me now is indescribable. But let me be honest with you, it is not all sunshine and roses. One of the reasons I know without a doubt that God is real is because of the spiritual warfare and attacks from the enemy that have been happening in my life. As I continue to get closer to the Lord, Satan continues to attack and attack. Attacking not just me mentally but my kids, my family, my friends. He is constantly trying to plant seeds of doubt in my mind. It makes him so angry to see me get closer and closer to the Lord which causes him to fight all the more. I have never experienced this kind of spiritual warfare in my life, and it is just further proof to me that I am walking with the Lord. I truly am going through some of the toughest times of my life, but I am also experiencing some of the most rewarding, rich, and joyful. There have literally been times that my eyes have been so swollen from crying, but I promise you this, I would not change it for the world. I know without a doubt in my mind that I will get to spend eternity with Christ. Yes, life is hard, but it is so temporary, friends. There is radical peace to be found that surpasses all understanding. 

Lord, thank you for walking with me.